Who’s At YOUR Tea Party?

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Party Profile: Sundae Tea, South Carolina
Hostesses:
Barbara Miles, Annette Lawton, Freddia Bartless, and Rebecca Marino

Thirty guests put their diets on hold to attend this ice cream sundae Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event in our hometown of Greenwood, South Carolina! The group was made up of both men and women and included Elizabeth and her dad. There were various toppings, whipped cream, and - of course - cherries to top off each sundae creation. Barbara reports that this idea was “a great hit with everyone.” These creative hostesses also served iced tea, along with “calorie-free” (wink, wink) cookies. This event took place over the summer, in August, so it was a lovely idea for a summer BHTP event. The guests made donations to the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation and their grand total was $1095. Great idea, ladies, and congratulations on a successful event! Our sincere thanks to all those who donated to this worthy ovarian cancer awareness organization located in Greenville, SC.

Elizabeth writes about attending this party:
“It was a beautiful, warm, sunny, blue-sky day and such a joy to catch up with church friends, long-time family friends, and become acquainted with unfamiliar but friendly faces. So many of these people have now come together as a yearly tradition to take part in the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party concept. As the sun shined brightly through the windows, everyone mingled throughout the kitchen and den. The kitchen table was decorated with beautiful blue hydrangeas, cookies and snacks. The tea station was stocked with clear pitchers and a wide assortment of teas. And, then there was the ice cream…nothing like an ice cream buffet! There were so many toppings available that it almost seemed necessary to go back for seconds, or at least that seemed like a good excuse. Smiles were abundant as people created their favorite kind of sundae. Pamphlets were available to provide information about ovarian cancer awareness.

A glance around the room reflected many whose lives have, in some way, been affected by cancer. I was touched by one woman’s strength as I spoke with her about her recent diagnosis. She was one of my Sunday school teachers, when I was in the first grade, and she had also worked with my grandmother. I was saddened to see what she was going through. I hope I was able to offer her encouragement, even as I fought back my own the tears. Today, as I think back to that conversation with this sweet lady, I also think of my mom who is always in my heart. I wish I had shared a quote that has stayed with me since the time I shared it with Mom. The quote actually had come from a church sign and seemed so fitting: “Do what you can…God will do what you cannot.”

There were light-hearted moments, as well. A few women in the group were chatting about their upcoming pilgrimage to the Holy Land. The topic of discussion was the luggage limitation they would have. I can still hear the laughter, as they were trying to convince one woman that she could not plan to accessorize and have a different pair of shoes to wear with every outfit! I am not sure if they were able to persuade her to keep it to the basics. They were all looking forward to this journey together.

The laughter of the small children in attendance was such a blessing to see. They were busy in their own little world of fun, running from one room to the next, fueled by the sundaes they had eaten! They were releasing lots of energy and would soon be heading to nap-time.

A couple of ladies arrived toward the end of the gathering. They had both been out of town for a wedding and planned to get back in time to make it to the party. They were truly loyal to add this to the agenda for the weekend. One of these women had recently found out that her daughter has breast cancer. She had been spending time with her beautiful grandchildren, while the daughter and her husband traveled to appointments. This mother’s eyes showed such courage and faith.

Dad really enjoyed the day with these great friends, and as he and I left, we felt so comforted by the many people we are so blessed to have in our lives. Just as the toppings came together to make a delicious sundae on this warm day, so, too, did a group of people to support a wonderful organization…and each other. Thank you to all of the hostesses and those in attendance who made this such a special day. May God Bless each of you and keep you in His care.”

Party Profile: River Valley Chapter, NOCC
Hostess: Blanche West (contact person)
Blanche registered this event after receiving one of our brochures! She shared with me that this chapter of the NOCC was created the year before and that it had come out of her own loss. Blanche’s sister-in-law died from ovarian cancer and it was in the spirit of her desire to “do something” that Blanche, herself, took on this cause. She said that her sister-in-law wanted to educate women about ovarian cancer, because she had not been informed and wasn’t suspicious of her own symptoms, until it was too late. The organization uses the Queen Elizabeth rose as their symbol, because this flower was Blanche’s sister-in-law’s favorite. “The flower parallels a woman’s being,” she says. Blanch says that “the green of the plant signifies woman’s growth and life itself; the lovely hot-pink bloom represents the beauty of womanhood; the thorns remind us of woman’s sufferings.”

This event was held at the Reynolds Cancer Support House and Dr. Kris Gast, a local radiation oncologist, spoke to the group. There was entertainment by Tonya Jackson. Door prizes were presented and each guest received a gift bag with an ovarian cancer bracelet, lapel pin, car magnet, and educational literature. Blanche and her group worked very hard to create a lovely day for their guests and many others donated items and services for the event, as well. The RCSH offered the use of their facilities and the menu included sandwiches, potato salad, pasta salad, chips, fresh veggies with dill dip, fruit, and “super-yummy” homemade desserts prepared by the NOCC members! Of course, there was tea, as well…a variety of hot teas and iced tea…and coffee.

Blanche writes of this event:
“We decorated the tables with pastel blue cloths and teapots of all sorts. The teapots held silk hydrangeas, and a local florist donated a beautiful blue hydrangea centerpiece for the buffet - and then it was given for a door prize, too. A photographer was on hand to capture the occasion by making pictures of anyone who wanted one. Of course, a live blue hydrangea was used in the setting.

One of the ladies undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer and four of her five sisters and her brother traveled some miles to attend, as well as a couple of nieces and one of her co-workers, whose daughter had just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. They filled up one whole table! One of her sisters offered a heart-felt, heart-warming invocation for the gathering, which set the tone for the day. We also recognized all the NOCC members, including a woman in her eighties, who is a 31yr survivor!

A remembrance table held little name tents so folks could write the name of a loved one, place a picture, and light a votive candle in memory or in honor of them. Later in the program each name was called. A NOCC table-top display was used as the backdrop for that table.

We hadn’t planned to really use this event as a fundraiser but to promote awareness of ovarian cancer; however, people began to ask how they could make a donation and wondered aloud who was collecting money! We had plain white envelopes that we used for that purpose….We received donations in the amount of $1615!! When it came time to leave, folks just hung around, still wanting to visit, even in the face of an impending thunderstorm - now, that’s a sure sign of success! The party provided a bonding experience for our group, and we made some new friends, as well, even learning some new and important information about ovarian cancer.”

We were blessed with an amazing response last year! Below are some other highlights from BHTP 2008-

Lisa Sutton, New York
Lisa is a friend of our very first BHTP hostess, Candy Carberry. After attending Candy’s awareness tea parties for two consecutive years, she decided that it was time to broaden the circle of awareness and registered to host her own tea party! Lisa really put her creativity to work….First she initiated a “Dress Down Day” at her school on the Friday before her tea party to raise awareness for her beneficiary. Her co-workers made donations to the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance, and she gave car magnets as gifts to those who made a donation of $10 or more. Then, she hosted guests at her home. With their donations combined with those of her colleagues, she raised a total of $565. Lisa, you amaze us with your energy!!

Kathy Church, South Carolina
Kathy and her daughter, a student at UNC – Chapel Hill, invited a small group of young women to enjoy tea and fellowship. It was a special day for these friends, home from college! Together they raised $390 for their beneficiary, the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund. Kathy’s party is a good example of one of the many goals we hope to accomplish with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party – bringing younger women into the circle of awareness. Our best wishes to Kathy and her daughter!

Amanda Beachboard, Delaware
Mandy learned of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party from Tea Time. She decided that she’d like to be a hostess and worked for months on her BHTP event! She diligently pursued the details to a very successful conclusion, hosting 11 ladies at her tea party. She reports that “it was awesome!” We are very appreciative to Mandy and her guests, who donated $225 to the NOCC-DE.

S.C.O.C.F. – Riverbanks Region, South Carolina
Jane Williams, board member of S.C.O.C.F., welcomed apx 70 guests to a BHTP event at Sterling Hall in Columbia, SC. Along with other supporters, Jane, Diana Neglia, and Cathy Novinger (chair) planned a lovely event, which included door prizes. There was great food by Dupre’s, entertainment and inspiration, along with education! Meredith Anderson, of SC Oncology Associates, explained the origin of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party to those gathered. The event was sponsored by South Carolina Oncology Associates and SCOA Cares Foundation and it raised $2100 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation – Riverbanks Region.

Blue Hydrangea Tea Party 2009 is well underway, and we are pleasantly surprised with the level of participation this year, given the current economic climate. As the days begin to count down, our excitement builds and we await the results of this year’s BHTP events! We wish you all much success with your parties and encourage anyone who is interested to get involved at some level. Remember that there is no rule book…Your party should reflect YOU!! Some may wish to choose alternate dates that are more convenient for them. Regardless, we ask that all BHTP events be registered through the online registration form…just include the alternate date you’ve chosen in the “Comments” section. Remember, too, that the Ning site is there for you to share your photos and video from your BHTP events, as well as your experiences and expertise. You do not have to be a hostess to join and participate in the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party Community. It has been so much fun making friends and getting to know those who have already signed on! We want this site to be an uplifting place that brings joy to those who visit and participate. Thank you so very much for your support - our hostesses are at the center of what makes BHTP successful~

    Jennie

Who’s At YOUR Tea Party?

Sunday, April 27th, 2008

Party Profile: Mother-Daughter Tea, Texas
Hostesses, Patty Smith; Mary Sebolt; and Christy Flanigan

For Christy and her two aunts, Mary and Patty, the idea of hosting a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event felt right. They had lost Christy’s mother, Vivian, the sister of Mary and Patty, to ovarian cancer in 2005. But, as Christy tells us, the connection went a tad farther. The blue hydrangea was the favorite flower of Christy’s grandmother - Vivian, Mary, and Patty’s mother. So, Christy explained, “this was meant for us to do!” Their party was a Mother-Daughter Tea. There were crafts for the daughters to make for Mothers’ Day, so “the girls had as much fun as the moms!” Christy said. They raised $570.00 for the NOCC’s Dallas/Fort Worth division. Christy reported that the event was “all in all a big success.” We loved this idea and hope that others will want to do the same. What fun!! Congratulations to these ladies on a successful party!

Party Profile: Office Tea, Michigan
Hostess, Robin Mosher

A small party is still better than no party at all is what we always say! And, a successful party in spite of a few obstacles is even better, because it’s a great lesson in perseverance. At this party, not even an unexpected glitch could dampen a great time. Robin reported that they had planned for a larger crowd. But, she said, “illness kept a whole group away.” Six guests DID attend, though, and their enthusiasm for Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was strong! Robin’s party raised $100, earmarked for ovarian cancer that went to the American Cancer Society. We commend this group for going forward with the party when they could have cancelled! As we told Robin, “just remember that it’s $100.00 more than they (the ACS) had the day before!!” If there’s one thing we’ve learned along the way, it is never be afraid to try. If you do nothing you’re assured to fail. Way to go, Robin!

Party Profile: Memory Tea, South Carolina
Hostesses, Monty Richardson; Linda Anderson; and Judy Mitchell

In our hometown in upstate South Carolina, there is an elementary school where Ann (Elizabeth’s mother/Jennie’s sister) was an assistant in the preschool for many years. The school has been so kind to remember Ann in very special ways. They created a lovely garden and held a ceremony to dedicate it to her memory, in the years after her death. For the last two years, the faculty and staff have participated in a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event, in memory of Ann, in the school’s teachers’ lounge. They do this as a “drop-in” so that teachers and other staff can come in when they have a break. They set up a memory board with pictures of Ann and have ovarian cancer awareness literature available, as well. Last year, they took a cue from one of our other hostesses and had door prizes! In the two years they have done this they have raised $360.00 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation. We are very appreciative of all of the kindnesses shown to our family and to Ann’s memory by this special group of people. We raise our tea cups to you!

Memory Tea Party, SC 2Memory Tea Party, SC 1

    As May 10, 2008 nears and we find ourselves giddy with anticipation for what this year will bring, we would like to thank all of our hostesses for their support. If you’ve ever hosted a tea party for us, you are part of the success of this event. We reflect on the past three years with awe and thanksgiving for the amazing grace shown us. It is, indeed, a blessing to make a difference in this life. We are grateful for the opportunity! We hope that those who want to get involved with ovarian cancer awareness and research will do so by volunteering to host a tea party - We are ALWAYS eager to register parties, even for alternate dates. So, don’t hesitate to contact us with your ideas for your very own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event! And, as always, contact us with your questions. We hope you will all stay tuned to the blog for the results of our efforts, as we go forward. We have a great group of hostesses this year, who are creatively preparing to inspire their guests - To them we send our best wishes. You are the folks who make things happen out there on the front lines, so to speak. Without your willingness to get involved our concept would be a fundraising vehicle with no wheels! We look forward to hearing from each of you after the crumbs have been swept away and the tea cups are safely stored. Please remember to include your donation total, a few details from the day, and some digital photos that we might share here at the website blog. Thank you, again, for your gracious hospitality, ladies!

Many thanks to the women who have planned the following Blue Hydrangea Tea Party events for this year~

April 20, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor and volunteer for Ovarian Cancer Awareness of Kentucky (O.A.K.), Cindy Adams, chaired the committee for a progressive tea party in the historic shopping district of LaGrange, Kentucky. 100% of each donation of $10 or more went to the O.A.K. Cindy reports that they raised $2,370. They hope to make this a yearly event. Great work, Cindy!

May 3 - 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor, Missy Lafave, will donate a portion of her sales at The Marketplace at Alpena, to the Alpena Cancer Center, in Alpena, Michigan.

May 3, 2008
Amanda Beachboard will host a tea party in Delaware to benefit the NOCC - Delaware Division.

May 9, 2008
The Tiara Tea Society Chairperson, Regina Gately, has planned an event in conjunction with the Community Association Management of Sun City in Huntley, Illinois, to benefit the NOCC - Illinois Division.

May 9, 2008
The Riverbanks Region of the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation (a partner member of the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance/OCNA) will be the beneficiary of an event sponsored by South Carolina Oncology Associates and the SCOA Cares Foundation. Dianne Neglia, Jane Williams, and the other members of the BHTP committee of the SCOCF-Riverbanks Region and Meredith Anderson of SCOA and the SCOA Cares Foundation have been working diligently behind the scenes to prepare for this event, which is open to the public. It will be held at 12:00noon at The Hall (formerly Sterling Garden Center), 320 Senate St., Columbia, SC.

May 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor and “veteran” hostess, Candy Carberry, will host a tea party in New York to benefit the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry .

May 10, 2008
Lisa Sutton, a “former-tea-party-guest-turned-hostess,” will host a tea party in New York to benefit the OCNA.

May 10, 2008
Ovarian cancer survivor, Melanie Finley, will host a tea party in Florida to benefit a newly formed foundation there.

May 10, 2008
Diana Fierro will host a tea party in New York to benefit Gilda’s Club of White Plains.

May 10, 2008
Blanche West and her group at the River Valley chapter of the NOCC will host a community event to be held at the Reynolds Cancer Support House in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

May 10, 2008
Kathy Church will host a Mother-Daughter tea party in South Carolina to benefit the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.

    On the Saturday before Mothers’ Day this year, the family of Ann Camp McCune, in whose memory Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was established three years ago, will gather in Columbia, SC, for their annual luncheon to benefit the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation. We will be thinking of Ann, our hostesses and their guests, other families affected by death from ovarian cancer, and ovarian cancer survivors everywhere! May we all come to understand better the insidious nature of this disease and fight for early detection for the future.

With much appreciation to our tea party hostesses, past and present, and all of their guests~
Jennie & Elizabeth

Party Profile: Lindsay, Kentucky

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

by Jennie Camp Hudgins

Occasionally, the world is blessed with a child who exhibits the traits of, what some may refer to as, “an old soul.” You know what I mean, I’m sure. A child with the heart and soul of a much older, wiser person. There’s a little girl in Kentucky, named Lindsay, who is just that kind of child. And, I must say, Elizabeth and I were nearly speechless when we heard this 9 year-old’s story.

Linsay is the granddaughter of an ovarian cancer survivor. She and her “Grammy” are very close. When her grandmother, Ramona, was diagnosed, Lindsay was deeply affected. But, this child - in the midst of her own pain - began to come up with a plan to help others with cancer. Her grandmother’s positive attitude, in response to this devastating diagnosis, was a model for Lindsay. So, Lindsay decided that she, too, would respond to the devastating news with something positive. She wanted to raise money for cancer research. At first, her idea was to embark on a door-to-door sale of lemonade. As most mothers would these days, Lindsay’s mother, Lori, had reservations about this idea and began to search the internet for other options. In the meantime, on behalf of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, Elizabeth contacted an organization in Kentucky, Ovarian Cancer Awareness of Kentucky (O.A.K.), with information about our tea party events. They were kind enough to put our information on their website. So, as Lori and Lindsay searched the internet, they learned of our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party concept at the O.A.K. site! Lori said, “We decided that the perfect thing would be to host a tea to increase awareness for ovarian cancer.” Lindsay’s Godmother, Barbara, helped in the planning of this Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event by securing the Whitehall Historic Home in Louisville. Lori said, “It was a perfectly elegant setting for our formal English tea.” And, Lindsay created a very special poster about Blue Hydrangea Tea Party! There were lots of smiles that day, as these ladies found joy in this celebration. It truly wasn’t far off Lindsay’s original idea of selling lemonade – she still managed to make something sweet out of a very sour, unpleasant experience in her young life. What a special day this must have been! Lindsay and her mom were very grateful for the support of their friends and neighbors. Together they raised $2,900 for O.A.K. Lori wrote to Elizabeth, “We have put our hearts into this cause and this tea party.”

Indeed, they did, and it was a beautiful event judging from the photos Lori shared with us. Lori reports that her mother, Ramona, is doing well these days. “She continues to be strong and is truly an inspiration,” says Lori. I asked her how this has affected the way she looks at her own health, having her mother diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Lori says that she has been vigilant, watching for any signs of this cancer in herself, and she encourages other women to do the same. She is a vocal advocate for awareness and volunteers for the cause. She tells me that she has offered to share their Blue Hydrangea Tea Party experience with other ladies in their area, who might wish to participate. She says, “We speak of the Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event very often, as it holds a treasured spot in our lives. I urge others to participate in these parties.”

Lindsay is now a year older and no doubt even wiser! And, there is definitely no doubt that she is happy that her “Grammy” is doing so well these days. Elizabeth and I wish Lindsay; her mother, Lori; her grandmother, Ramona; and her Godmother, Barbara, our very best wishes. We are grateful to you for sharing your story with us and for bringing other women into the circle of awareness with your lovely tea party.

Lindsay with her poster

Lindsay with her mother, Lori, and grandmother, RamonaLindsay with her mother, Lori; grandmother, Ramona; and Godmother, BarbaraLindsay as a BHTP hostess!

Party Profile: Nancy Perry, South Carolina

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

by Jennie Camp Hudgins

Like most of our tea parties, this one has a unique story behind it, one that spans a year and many miles! In May 2006, our very first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostess, Candy Carberry, held her tea party in New York. In her “after-party report,” she spoke of those she honored with her party, one of them being her cousin, Nancy Perry, who was doing battle with ovarian cancer. Nancy, she said, was from South Carolina and was a very hard-working advocate for children in the area, with an agency named for her. I checked out her work through the website for the agency and couldn’t believe that this treasure of a woman lived so near – Isn’t it ironic how often we find treasures right under our noses? I couldn’t believe how coming to know Candy way up there in New York state had also shown me a local hero living right here in South Carolina, in fact, in the next county!

So, as the second year of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party began to come into view for us, we experienced a moment of extreme exhilaration, when we received a party registration from a group of women who had learned of our concept through Nancy Perry! They desired to hold this tea party in her honor. They gave me the specifics of their plans and the list of hostesses involved with the event. Of course, we were beyond thrilled that our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party idea had spread, through word of mouth, from South Carolina to New York, then back to South Carolina, again! It was like so many of the “God-winks” we had experienced throughout the journey to get established as an ovarian cancer awareness event and fundraising tool. So, there were mental high-fives across cyberspace, as Elizabeth and I shared an outbreak of goose bumps!

Time went forward and the next update I received about Nancy’s party came in an email on May 21, 2007 from Candy. I learned then that, apparently, Nancy’s health had begun to fail in the midst of planning a party. After Candy’s party that first year, Nancy decided that she, too, wanted to serve as a hostess for a Blue Hydrangea Tea Party event. So, with her desire expressed, folks around her knew of her intentions. The hostesses I had heard from (Evon, Linda, Ann, Lou Ellen, Jorene, and Lois) had taken over for Nancy, when it seemed she wouldn’t be able to carry out the party plans without help. And, it turned into an opportunity to honor Nancy, as well. Nancy was a very determined fighter in her professional life as a social worker, specializing in adoption and child/family services. These qualities were certainly evident as she battled ovarian cancer and sought to be an advocate for ovarian cancer awareness by following through with her tea party, even as she was succumbing, physically, to the disease. Candy wrote to me that she knew Nancy’s battle was nearing an end and that their time together was running out. Candy had postponed her own party to fly to South Carolina to be with Nancy for her very own Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. “As sick as she was, Nancy was determined to go to her party,” Candy wrote. Nancy had wanted to participate in her tea party so badly that, in spite of her failing health, they rented a wheel chair and, Candy wrote, “away we went!!!” Nancy’s spirit was still strong despite the obvious.

Candy reported that Nancy’s doctor, Dr. James A. Williams, Jr., spoke about ovarian cancer. And, Nancy asked Candy to speak about the meaning of Blue Hydrangea Tea Party. From Candy’s email, it sounds as though it was a perfect day, full of meaningful moments to last a life time and filled with some surprises for Nancy - a woman who so richly improved her community. Nancy passed away June 23, 2007. In the months after that day, I received a report from Evon, one of the other hostesses of Nancy’s party. They raised $2,155.00 for the South Carolina Oncology Associates Cares Foundation, where Nancy had received treatment for her ovarian cancer. Attached to the email report that I received was the letter that had been sent to this organization with the donation, and in it was this sentiment…..“all of our lives have a missing piece.”

Nancy was truly a woman to be reckoned with. Her character was evident in her last days. Her wonderful legacy is more than just the Nancy K. Perry Children’s Shelter; it extends farther, even to the people who have been associated with her vision and her energy for doing good things in her community. They will go forward with a shining example of stewardship. In the end, what was left in her energy reserves she used not on herself but to benefit others. The cause of ovarian cancer awareness in South Carolina took another step forward on May 12, 2007. And, I believe that the quest to educate women about ovarian cancer will continue to move forward, because of women like Nancy, her colleagues, and friends, who graciously and selflessly volunteer their energies toward this endeavor.

Nancy Perry at her Blue Hydrangea Tea Party in 2007 with her cousin Candy Carberry
Nancy and Candy (photo courtesy of the Perry family)

Party Profile: Joyce Bartless, South Carolina

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

by Jennie Camp Hudgins

For the most part, our Blue Hydrangea Tea Party hostesses have some connection with ovarian cancer. They might be a survivor or a family member of someone lost to the disease. In some cases, the hostess is a friend of someone with, or lost to, ovarian cancer. Joyce Bartless was just that kind of friend. She was one of my sister’s closest, in fact. But she, herself, was a breast cancer survivor. She had been diagnosed after my sister and another friend in their group were already into their struggles with ovarian cancer. So, for this small group of friends, half of them were fighting a deadly disease. Joyce had been cancer-free for some time when my sister and their other friend succumbed to their metastases only a couple of years apart. Unfortunately, before our first Blue Hydrangea Tea Party, Joyce’s doctors discovered that she, herself, had a metastasis. Still, she whole-heartedly supported our efforts with Blue Hydrangea Tea Party.

She hosted a tea party at her home on May 19, 2007, along with two other friends of that small, close-knit group, Annette Lawton and Barbara Miles. Another friend of Joyce’s, Valerie Lowery, also helped host. This group had grieved the loss of not one but two friends, who had lost the battle with ovarian cancer. They prepared a smorgasbord of salads and other dishes for us to enjoy, as some of us had traveled from out of town. It was a lovely lunch with great fellowship. Of course, she served tea! Joyce spoke to the group before we dove into the food they had prepared. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party was very special to her. She shared with me, for the first time, a scrapbook that she had prepared. To my surprise, she had kept everything from emails to the original invitation from the year before! It was enough to make me ball right there….Our emotions were especially raw that day. Elizabeth’s dad, my sister’s husband, had just been diagnosed with a serious heart condition, and the day was a bit abbreviated, because of our concern for him. He was recovering at home and unable to attend. The event just wasn’t the same without him. Still, we appreciated the efforts of this incomparable group of friends, and together we raised $1,400 for the South Carolina Ovarian Cancer Foundation through Joyce’s Blue Hydrangea Tea Party luncheon.

The day was beautiful and the environment at Joyce’s party was very relaxed. It was a gathering suitable for a mix of family and friends, complete with little ones! She set up the buffet on her kitchen island, and had seating available for those in attendance. Even with her menu, it would have been fine to have guests find a comfortable spot to balance their plate, though, because of the laid-back atmosphere. It was the perfect choice for this group of guests! Had it not been for us all having to scurry after lunch, I imagine it would have been the kind of day that everyone would have lingered for hours….The kind of day that would have seen conversation among small groups split between the men and women, with everyone enjoying the little ones. As it was, we had to leave early in order to check on our patient, who was eagerly awaiting details of the day’s event!

Joyce, along with Annette, Barbara, and Valerie, did a beautiful job in the midst of these unfortunate circumstances….Our whole family appreciated the work that went into the day. In spite of the timing, the day was still a very special event for all of us. It is a bittersweet memory that I have of Joyce standing before the group, as we gathered on the deck before lunch. In the months after that day, she learned that her cancer was progressing despite the efforts of her doctors to thwart it. And, for her family and friends the news continued to be hard to hear. There were ups and downs….The usual rollercoaster ride that cancer treatment seems to be famous for. But, Joyce was typical of these heroic women we all know, who have done battle with cancer. She dealt with each discouraging pronouncement with grace and dignity, and she fought with every ounce of her being. She passed away suddenly during the course of this battle. And, I still don’t think I have completely comprehended it, because she was such a vibrant person. I never saw her again, after that day last May, and the memory that I have of her is the way I’d like to remember her forever….a sweet and supportive friend, who loved like she fought – with every ounce of her being.

Blue Hydrangea Tea Party has chosen the Saturday before Mothers’ Day each year as our target date, but hostesses are welcomed to choose alternate dates that might be more convenient for them and their guests.

Party Profile: Candy Carberry, New York

Saturday, March 10th, 2007

By Jennie Camp Hudgins

Candace Carberry is an ovarian cancer survivor. She credits the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry and Dr. Steven Piver with saving her life. Known to friends as Candy, she will forever be remembered by us as Blue Hydrangea Tea Party’s first registered hostess. Candy put her whole heart into becoming an ovarian cancer “activist” after her experience with the disease and made a pledge to herself to raise $1000 each year for the Registry. Blue Hydrangea Tea Party provides a lovely way for her to accomplish her goal each year!

On May 13, 2006 at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, Candy’s house was filled with blue hydrangeas as her friends joined her for this special tea party at her New York home. She enlisted the help of her mother, her sister, her cousin, and her daughter-in-law …generations of women coming together for the cause of other women! The party was especially meaningful to this family, because Candy’s cousin was fighting this same disease. The party was the perfect opportunity to honor her fight and provide literature about ovarian cancer and its signs and symptoms. Each guest received an ovarian cancer awareness pin, as well. Candy took the opportunity to honor those people she felt had so mightily impacted the fight against ovarian cancer – the late actress, Gilda Radner and Dr. Steven Piver, who founded the Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry 25 years ago, with Gilda’s husband, actor, Gene Wilder. She placed photos of them at the donation table, along with one of her cousin, who provided door prizes for the tea party.

Her daughter-in-law’s handmade blue hydrangea invitations brought 28 guests to her beautiful table. There her guests found antique dishes and her mother’s tea cups in varying patterns. Candy served tea sandwiches, homemade cookies, fruit and chocolate, and tea, of course! Lucky guests where treated to door prizes of blue hydrangea candles, picture frames, and stationary. And, everyone received a unique understanding of ovarian cancer….a cautionary tale from the mouth of a survivor. Candy’s party was a success and she met her personal goal of $1000. The Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry received the donation in honor of Candy’s cousin, Nancy. Following the party, she wrote thank you notes to her guests on blue hydrangea stationary, giving her party a personal touch from beginning to end.

“This was a wonderful experience,” Candy wrote. So wonderful, in fact, that she’s doing it again this year! On May 12, 2007, she says that she plans to follow the same party plan with an even bigger crowd and a few additions to the theme. She made a photo album from last year’s party, so she will have that available for her guests to enjoy. A friend has an idea for pastry treats in the shape of awareness ribbons, with teal frosting. And, she is also looking into ordering teal colored M&Ms! “The door prizes were a huge hit,” Candy explained. So, she and her sister have been out and about scouting for “hydrangea gifts.” This sounds like an excellent way to add excitement to a tea party!

Candy is passionate about ovarian cancer awareness with good reason. Most of us get passionate about something when our experience with it has affected us personally. I hope that every woman who hears about Blue Hydrangea Tea Party will respond the same way Candy has…with passion. Don’t disregard this disease and the opportunity to become active in the fight against it, because you don’t really feel passionate about it. So, maybe you don’t know anyone who is fighting ovarian cancer…..or has died from it…..A mere 5 years ago, I didn’t either.